The Mighty Whites v The ‘Dingles’ MDT
Macwhite’s first ever MDT and I sincerely hope it’s the first of many as we really need the points!
Burnley is a sh1thole.
It was voted 38th out of 50 worst places to live in UK in 2021.
It is the capital of East Lancashire. East Lancashire is a sh1thole!
6 miles south of Burnley lies Bacup, the ‘Jewel in the Crown’ of East Lancashire.
Bacup is similar to Vegas...Well the part of Vegas where the down and outs hang out actually, the failed gamblers and druggies etc!
The people of Bacup are diverse. Not just in their sexual orientations, but they have a hugely diverse amount of digits on each hand, ranging from 3 to 15!
This makes them extremely good banjo players.
My mate Bacup Dave (doesn’t play the banjo) whom I shoot clays and game with, is a fantastic shot and much better than me, but then he doesn’t have all them other fingers to get in the way of the trigger as he only has 3 on his right hand and one of them is a thumby/big toey type thing!
I bet he could make a really good banjo player if he put his mind to it?!
13.2 miles north west of Burnley lies the market town of Clitheroe.
Here, Troglodytes descend upon the town from their caves up in the hills, to attend a weekly ritual called Clitheroe auction.
Dressed in their tired animal fur coats (donkey jackets) with their very latest fashion accessory belts, made from old and dirty bailing twine, they bring their livestock...Chickens etc that they have reared themselves, to exchange for other people’s chickens, in order to prevent them from becoming too interbred.
Burnley folk should take notice of this practice and introduce it into their people’s social dating habits also, in order to help reduce serious interbreeding issues within the town!
Seriously guys, everyone should visit Clitheroe auction at least once, as I guarantee you will see people, the likes of whom you have never witnessed before, or indeed ever dreamt existed! Proper fookin’ 2 headers! If you ever have the misfortune to be in the Burnley area, this is an absolute ‘must do’👍
Burnley girls have straight hair and curly teeth😁
They do not shave their pubic hair, they simply purchase a bigger pair of knickers every year, in order to accommodate the accumulating mass...Until they become a little older and they are able to simply tuck it into their ankle socks! The classier Burnley birds wear white laces in their Doc Martens!
Onto football...And Burnley are Sh1t!
They spend about £50 a year on players and manage to scrape clear of relegation towards each season’s end.
They make good money though (because they spend sweet FA) they made a pre tax profit of £5m in the year to June 2019, but made a very tidy £45m ptp the previous season.
All Burnley supporters live in Burnley...Apart from 1.
My old mate Jim Kip supports them and he lives in Garstang, Preston, same as me...And he’s not a retard either!! I’ve asked him why the fook’ he supports Burnley and he simply replies “Cos they’re better than Preston”. Can’t argue with that I suppose!
As for the Dingles, there seems to be some doubt over whether Maxwell Cornetto will be available and they are reported to have Covid issues too.
Regarding our first team...Who knows who may or may not be available at this moment in time?? Bamford, Dan James, Pascal Struijk and Rodrigo perhaps?
Whatever, we should have enough to beat this lot, even down to our bare bones, so I am predicting a 2-1 victory to The Mighty Leeds, with Raph and Dallas the scorer’s and Mac goes marching on to further MDT’s, until such time as the postponed games are re scheduled.
Cummmmonnnnnnnn U Mighty Fookin Whites💛💙
🎶Chim chiminy, chim chiminy, chim chim Cher-oo🎶We hate the barstewards in claret & blue🎶😁