I have been with my wife for 37 years now so would be really rusty at this.
However I thought I would share with you the best line I have ever heard.
I was sitting alone on a bench at the Pitch and Putt in Birchington and this lady (old) came and sat down beside me. She then proceeded to ask "I hope you do not mind me sitting here" which I replied "No, of course not" Then she said "Please will you talk to me, I need to test out my new hearing aid"
I would have pulled but my wife, mum in law and grandson reappeared 10 minutes later!
Perhaps it is a line TC or Steve can use in future?
LOL but this is a true story
I was in the York hotel Minehead at a Paul Weller act (Not the real one, although he was good) and a bird came up beside me and whispered something to me that I could not hear. I bent down so I could hear and she stuck her tongue right in my ear and gave it a licking. I just could not believe it and she was one that you would have a photo over the mantle piece to frighten off Santa too. I was with what is my now wife at the time and was on a second date or similar. We did laugh about it!
Two weeks later I found out that she had died of a heart attack!!